Gonzo is out the door. I hope that I will, one day soon, have the pleasure of posting a mashup of “Hail to the Chief” and “Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead.”
Like the salacious icing on corrupt ineptitude cake, Roll Call is reporting today that, way back in June, Sen. Larry “The Pride of Idaho” Craig was arrested at the Minneapolis airport for “lewd behavior.” Apparently he came on to a (male) plainclothes police sergeant. In an airport bathroom. I couldn’t make this up!
Craig paid a fine, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He is presently serving a year of probation. Apparently Sen. Craig made something of a fuss, presenting the arresting officer with a business card (you know, those sweet looking official Senate business cards that you and I pay for) and asking “What do you think about that?” For some reason I doubt Sen. Craig was attempting to inflate the sergeant’s ego…
Now, I’m reporting on this for three reasons.
Right out of the gate, Senator Craig hasn’t been particularly progressive about gay rights or sexual freedom, so I find the precise circumstances of his “lewd behavior” particularly hypocritical and therefore noteworthy. Nobody gets away with attempting to play “Is that a veto in your pocket?” in an airport bathroom while telling me a little sodomy between friends is wrong. Two words: Bull; Twinkies.
Second, this is just bad politics. Sen. Craig is up for re-election (we presume) in ‘08. Big Gay Dem activist and all-around shenaniganologist Mike Rogers has been sniffing around for a while, and finally declared Craig “outed” last October. Now, those kind of accusations aren’t generally all that sticky (eww!). Craig, and his staff, vociferously refused to acknowledge the accusations, which almost certainly would have eventually evaporated. But when you have a cloud like those accusations hanging over your head, you probably want to take the high road when it comes to public man-on-man canoodling (or “manoodling”, if you will). This smacks of a certain lack of professionalism, no?
Lastly, this story is funny. I won’t lie. This story reminds me of the hilarious revelation that Strom Thurmond, who filibustered the Civil Rights Act of 1957 (solo, for over 24 hours!), had a daughter with a black woman. It suggests to me that, at least in America, those who claim to wish to restrict the equality of rights generally do so either through misguided obsession or through cynical public claims.
In all seriousness, I have no doubt that the last several months have been hard on Senator Craig, and that the foreseeable future is no brighter. The Senator has three options: 1. Accept that the people who elected him before aren’t going to elect him again, resign, and let Republican Governor C.L. “Butch” Otter appoint a successor who might be able to win in ‘08; 2. Accept that the people who elected him before aren’t going to elect him again, come to Jesus, and try to get a segment on 60 Minutes explaining why one of America’s biggest gaybashers is, well, a little gay; 3. Refuse to acknowledge that anything happened, blame it all on a Big Gay Conspiracy, remind Idaho’s voters that Nancy Pelosi is from San Francisco (gasp!) and pray that the suckers who’ve elected him to the Senate three times before will do it again.
Of course, deep down in the cockles of my partisan heart, I hope that Senator Craig will run all over the board with this crisis, paralyzing Idaho’s Republican machine and landing a Democrat in an Idaho Senator’s seat. What’s your best guess?
UPDATE: CQ has more, including some comment from Senator Craig’s office. Looks like he’s running with the classic “this is all just a big misunderstanding” opening. I wonder if anyone’s going to come back with the old “just which part aren’t we understanding?” gambit. We shall see.